Isn't she bossy?
When I taught preschoolers, every year around Mother’s Day I would have the kids paint their hands so they could make prints on a legal-sized piece of construction paper. Between their sweet fingerprints I would affix the chorus of either Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely” or John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy” as a keepsake for their moms to treasure for decades to come.
Alas, I have always had fur children, not the human kind. Over the past thirty-seven years I’ve adopted eight kittens (six girls and two boys altogether) and each of them had very distinct personalities. From recluse to Romeo, from chatty to quiet, none of them has been like the other. Take Aditi. Twelve years ago, I adopted her from a friend who had taken care of her mother and her small litter of kittens. From the start, Aditi has been friendly and funny and feisty. She was born on May 9th and let me tell you, she’s the ultimate Taurus, a bull-shaped little lady who grunts when she doesn’t get her way.
Her kittenhood was unlike anything I had ever experienced (and I fostered kittens, so I knew quite a bit). Had she been my first, I do believe she may have been my last. I even wrote an essay from her perspective called “Kitten for rent”. Yet I knew from experience that time and patience and love would transition her from a little stinker into one of the sweetest cats I’ve ever had. And it’s true. She’s a good eater, grooms herself impeccably, loves people and children and is healthy as a horse (or bull as the case may be).
And she’s a lady.
I’m a pushover when Aditi follows me into the kitchen, begging for one more morsel of food, even if she’s just eaten five minutes previous. Just now I left a couple of kibble nuggets on the kitchen floor, but she refused eat them. I washed the dish from her automated feeder, and she waited patiently until I dried it thoroughly, then snapped it into place. When I plunked the kibble into the bowl, she devoured them immediately. Obviously, she has standards.
Alas, when it comes to her little brother, Leo, she still thinks she’s the boss. Steve and I adopted him during Covid five years ago. Leo spent a week living on the sun porch before I introduced him to Aditi. Maybe it was sibling rivalry, but I think she harbored resentment for not being able to have access to her favorite room in the house because whenever Leo was curled up in my arms sleeping, she’d often walk by and clunk him in the head. Of course that didn’t go over well with me or with Leo. Still, he’s forgiving and has tried to play with her ever since, hoping to bridge her gap from bossiness to benevolence, with little success. They tolerate each other now, but she still makes sure her automated feeder dispenses in her bowl FIRST before Leo’s.
It’s hard to know what to do with such a Bossy Boots. I give Aditi love and attention. I hold her and groom her and make sure she has sunbeams in every room in which to lounge. Of course, I do the same for Leo but she sometimes still acts like she can’t believe he’s still around. Just the other night he was cuddled up in bed with me fast asleep and she jumped up and clunked him in the head. That landed her an expulsion from her coveted place at the foot of the bed but has not deterred her spirit.
Some days are bliss with the two of them stretched out on the floor next to each other while I watch TV or read a book. They share catnip and rotate who gets the warm and comfy bed by the furnace vent. But there are still times when Aditi will give Leo the evil eye and I change the words to one of Stevie’s signature pieces, singing, Isn’t she bossy? Isn’t she obstinate? Isn’t she stubborn? Nothing for Leo but contempt?
I’m sure Aditi was born bossy. My friend told me she was always the first kitten to greet her at the door when she came out to the workshop where they lived. She was rough and tumble with her two brothers and sister but also loved to curl up with them when the day’s shenanigans were through. I love her spirit and sass and the way that even at twelve years old, she still manages to embody the little sprite she was all those years ago.
This year I’m seriously considering adopting a little brother for Leo, a playmate that will keep him busy and hopefully allow him to let Aditi live her life in peace. Ms. Bossy Boots will probably still be Top Cat around here, but you never know. Maybe she’ll fall in love with the new addition and will slowly shift from domination to domestication.
A cat mom can hope, can’t she?